Vero D. Orozco
Adaptation is part of nature’s cycle; working against, mirroring or in combination with each other. The land transforms itself to survive IN response to its surroundings. I want to be more like these various systems of change that happen in nature. When we fight transformation within our lives, the unknown or new versions of ourselves may scare us. My piece is just a reflection of accepting that I need to adapt to a new framework in how my existence can thrive to better myself and my surroundings. I believe these transformations are necessary but doesn’t mean they always feel good in the moment.
“The Borderland Between Transformation”
by Vero d. Orozco
I miss hugs that remind me a home so warm it enlightens the blood flow back into my heart. I feel contemplation swirl around my eyes. They dance up and down as I can’t find the tears that would express this feeling of lost hope or this pausing of my old being being broken into a better version of me. This phase hurts.
Simply speaking, I am hurting deep down into my roots, deeper down into my soul. I am losing the sparks that have once made me smile or feel whole. Things are changing now and I’m scared I can’t exist in the world where my idea of freedom is a reality. I have to let myself transform into a new me. I am breaking.
My cup has been empty a long time from now, I over gave up too much to try to stay afloat. Who did I think I was impressing anyways? I forgot about myself in the sea of words and behind many screens never catching up because I entered this way too late and behind anyways (I pretend no one knows).
My minds races always of how I can be a better student. How can I transform words that I know, feel and have read into critical thoughts that will help myself j u s t b e b e t t e r?
Being better means loving the part that reminds you to fill your cup first. Overfill it with the things and thoughts that no one will give you but yourself. Be compassionate with your heart in order for life to fill yourself into a human who will continually give-a-shit.... Because collectively we need those folks in order to change society. And so I let my soul feel torn apart and allow for healing and rebirth.
Good-bye old me. I’m not sure if I won’t miss you yet.